Sex During Pregnancy: Is It Safe, When to Avoid It, and How to Stay Comfortable

Is Sex Safe During Pregnancy?

In an uncomplicated pregnancy, sex is generally considered suitable unless your health professional has advised otherwise. According to healthdirect, Pregnancy Birth and Baby and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, sexual activity is suitable throughout an uncomplicated pregnancy. Some individual circumstances can change this, so follow any recommendations from your health professional. Additionally, sex should only happen when you and your partner both agree.

Can Sex Hurt the Baby?

In an uncomplicated pregnancy, sex is generally considered suitable and does not harm the baby. According to healthdirect and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the amniotic sac and the amniotic fluid inside it cushion your baby. The muscle of the uterus surrounds them both. Your baby sits above the cervix, deep in the pelvis, where sex does not reach. A thick mucus plug in the cervix helps prevent germs from entering the uterus.

Can your baby feel it when you have sex?

Sex does not reach or directly contact the baby.

When Should You Avoid Sex During Pregnancy?

Some pregnancy factors may mean you should avoid sex after seeking health professional advice. Your health professional can advise you based on the circumstances of your pregnancy.

The examples below are drawn from pregnancy guidance. They are not exhaustive, and individual advice may differ depending on your pregnancy. If any of these circumstances apply to you, follow the advice of your health professional. These are the circumstances in which sex is advised against during pregnancy, and each one is a reason to speak with your health professional rather than a reason to worry.

Talk to your health professional first if any of these apply to you:

• Placenta praevia or a low-lying placenta
• Labour
• Cervical insufficiency, or a cervical stitch
• Any vaginal bleeding
• Signs of miscarriage
• Vaginal discharge that changes in colour, smell or amount
• Pain or discomfort during or after sex, for either partner

Your health professional assesses information based on the specific circumstances of your pregnancy.

Expecting twins, being over 35 or having conceived through IVF are not, by themselves, reasons to avoid sex unless told so by your health professional. However, individual circumstances associated with a pregnancy may change the advice, so ask your health professional about your own circumstances.

How Does Sex Change Through the Trimesters?

Sex changes through the trimesters in comfort, desire and position, not in suitability. The answer given at the top of this page holds across all three stages: sex is suitable unless your health professional has told you otherwise.

Sex in the first trimester

Nausea, tiredness and breast tenderness may reduce desire in the first trimester. Some people avoid sex at this stage because they are worried about harming the pregnancy. That worry is not a medical reason to abstain unless directed by a health professional, and the protective anatomy described above applies from the beginning. Sex before the 12-week scan carries the same answer as sex at any other point in an uncomplicated pregnancy.

Sex in the second trimester

Desire may return or increase in the second trimester. Early pregnancy symptoms settle for some people at this stage, and blood flow to the pelvis increases during pregnancy.

Sex in the third trimester

Sex remains suitable in the third trimester in an uncomplicated pregnancy. What changes in the third trimester is position, because the size of your abdomen rules some positions out. One positional rule should be considered from here on.

Will Your Sex Drive Change During Pregnancy?

Yes, your sex drive can change during pregnancy, and it can move in either direction. In the first trimester, morning sickness and tiredness may reduce desire. In the second trimester, desire may return or increase. In the third trimester, desire may change again as comfort and sleep change.

Both directions are normal. Wanting more sex during pregnancy is normal and is not something to feel guilty about. Wanting none is normal and is not a relationship failure. Neither one is a problem that needs solving.

Two physical changes are worth knowing about. Vaginal discharge increases during pregnancy, and more wetness may occur. According to Tommy's, some people find the opposite and notice more dryness, and a water-based lubricant can help.

Which Positions Are Comfortable During Pregnancy?

Any position that is comfortable is suitable in an uncomplicated pregnancy, and comfort rather than safety is what drives the choice as the pregnancy progresses. As your abdomen grows, positions that put weight on it stop being comfortable, and adjusting is a matter of comfort alone.

Avoid lying flat on your back, especially from 28 weeks, because of the pressure this puts on the major blood vessels. Choose positions that are comfortable and avoid any position that makes you feel dizzy, faint or unwell. Follow any positioning advice given by your health professional.

According to Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists patient information, pelvic girdle pain does not harm the baby, and intercourse is one of the movements that can make the symptoms worse, so position choice matters more if you have it.

Which Types of Sex Are Safe During Pregnancy?

The answer for named acts is the same as the answer for sex in general in an uncomplicated pregnancy. Oral sex is the act that carries specific rules of its own.

Is oral sex safe during pregnancy?

Yes, oral sex is suitable during pregnancy, with two exceptions. Avoid oral sex if your partner has a blister on or around their lips, because the virus that causes some blisters can, in rare circumstances, be passed to a newborn during or around delivery and cause serious illness.

Is Bleeding or Cramping After Sex Normal?

Light spotting and mild cramping can occur after sex during pregnancy. However, any bleeding during pregnancy should be discussed with your health professional, even when it is light. Seek urgent medical advice for heavier bleeding, pain, fluid leakage, or if you feel very unwell.

Why do you cramp after sex or orgasm?

Orgasm makes the uterus contract, and mild cramping afterwards is common and settles on its own. According to Tommy's, these contractions can feel like Braxton Hicks contractions in later pregnancy. Braxton Hicks contractions are not labour.

When should you call your health professional after sex?

These are the signs to call your health professional about after sex:

• Seek urgent medical advice for heavier bleeding, pain, or if you feel unwell.
• Cramping that is strong or does not settle
• Fluid leaking from the vagina
• Any bleeding at all if you have been told you have a low-lying placenta

You can also call because you are worried, and you do not need to meet any of these signs first.

Do you need to use condoms during pregnancy?

Condoms can reduce the risk of many infections when used correctly. This may be particularly relevant if you or your partner has an unknown history, either of you have other sexual partners, or you have a new partner. Your health professional can advise whether testing or other precautions are appropriate for you.

Can Sex Bring on Labour?

There's no evidence that having sex will bring on premature labour in a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy.

Semen contains prostaglandins, and orgasm may release oxytocin. These hormones may help soften the cervix and start contractions.

Your health professional can advise what evidence means for your own circumstances.

Can sex cause premature labour?

Available evidence cited in this article has not shown an association between intercourse and premature birth in low-risk pregnancies.

When Can You Have Sex Again After Birth?

There is no single date that is right for everyone to resume sex after birth. Readiness is physical and emotional, and the two parts move at their own pace. It is important to resume only when you feel physically and emotionally ready. According to the Canadian Medical Association Journal review, roughly 90% of couples have resumed sex by three to four months after birth. The six-week check is a care milestone rather than a permission gate: it is when you can raise the question, not the date you are cleared. Your healing, your bleeding and how you feel are what set the timing, and your health professional is the person to talk it through with.

Why does sex hurt after having a baby?

According to the Canadian Medical Association Journal review and Tommy's, pain during sex is the most common problem couples report after birth, and it usually improves with time. Pain can be related to healing after birth or vaginal dryness, including during breastfeeding. Other causes are also possible, so pain should be discussed with your health professional. A water-based lubricant can help with the second one. Pain that persists is worth raising with your health professional.

Can you get pregnant before your periods come back?

Yes, you can get pregnant before your periods come back. According to healthdirect and Tommy's, pregnancy is possible from three weeks after giving birth, including while you are breastfeeding and before your periods return. Contraception after birth is a conversation with your health professional, who can tell you which options suit breastfeeding and how soon each one starts.

What Should You Ask Your Health Professional About Sex During Pregnancy?

The answer for your own pregnancy comes from the person providing its care, and a short list of questions gets you there faster than searching. These are the questions worth raising at your next appointment:

• Ask whether anything in this pregnancy changes the general answer for you.
• Ask where your placenta is lying, and whether that changes anything.
• Ask what to do if you bleed after sex.
• Ask whether your first-visit screening covered everything relevant, and whether you need a repeat test later.
• Ask whether advice to avoid sex given earlier in this pregnancy still applies.
• Ask who to raise this with after the birth, and when.

What If You Have Been Told Not to Have Sex?

Some pregnancies come with advice to avoid sex, with some of the circumstances set out above, and being on the receiving end of it is difficult. Intimacy in pregnancy is not the same thing as intercourse. Touch, holding each other, massages and time alone together remain available. Ask your health professional exactly what the advice covers, because "avoid sex" means different things in different circumstances, and knowing where the line sits is easier than guessing at it.

What If You Do Not Want Penetrative Sex?

Not wanting penetrative sex is a complete reason not to have it. No further reason is required, and nobody has to negotiate their way to no. Kissing, touch, massages, closeness and time together are all still there, and none of them is a lesser version of anything. Sex happens when you and your partner both agree, and that condition does not change during pregnancy.

How Do You Talk to Your Partner About Sex During Pregnancy?

Desire moves at different rates for each partner during pregnancy, and saying so directly is what resolves it. One partner's fear of harming the baby, or the other's changed desire, is usually the reason the safety question is being asked in the first place. Naming which of the two it is turns a stalemate into a specific question, and most of the specific questions have answers on this page.

Where Can You Get Help in Australia?

Different questions go to different services in Australia. These are the services to contact, and what each one is for:

• Your health professional Anything about your own pregnancy, including bleeding after sex, advice, and when to resume after birth.
• The healthdirect maternal child health nurse line Pregnancy and newborn questions outside appointment hours.
• A sexual health clinic Testing and telling partners.
• 1800RESPECT Sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling line. If sex is not consensual, or you feel unsafe with your partner, this is the service to call.

What Else Is Safe During Pregnancy?

The question "is this suitable in pregnancy" follows you through the whole of pregnancy, and it does not stop with this one. The same evidence-led answer exists for what you eat and drink. These four guides answer it for food, drinks and nutrition: